Day 1
“Are you with me? I asked, how is your headache now? You have been quiet for a long time today, Kavya. You know we have only one hour.”
“I know, Dr. Reza.”
“So, talk to me. How are we doing with medication? Are you taking your pills on time?”
“Yes, Dr. Reza.”
“Any negative thoughts? Do you feel like you are a threat to society or yourself?”
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Stepping out after sunset has become as dangerous as signing a death warrant for the people of Anand Nagar. Parents forbid their children to play outside and shopkeepers closed their business regardless of their income. And the terror was obvious. Since the last two months, the residents of Anand Nagar have been witnessing a horror show. Every Thursday at 7:30 in the evening, someone has been forcing people to commit suicide at the crossroad of the colony. Till now, there were eight murders. The victims’ eyes were found wide open and they had made a quick cut across the neck and on the wrists, forcing the blood to scatter in every direction.
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She got up in the morning and a frightening thought came to her mind: I wish I hadn’t woken up. Not today, not ever! She cringed and wondered why she would ever think like that. She looked at her husband and son, and for the first time, she didn’t feel fulfilled. She went to the kitchen to make breakfast but didn’t feel like chopping the onions and breaking the eggs. She just sat on the sofa and curled up her legs and cried till her eyes started to hurt.
When her husband found her, her eyes were swollen, her sari was wet with tears. He held her like he always held his son when he cried. He asked, “What happened, dear? Is everything ok?” Unable to talk, Kavya somehow murmured just three words, “I don’t know”.
He was confused, but he decided this was no time to ask questions. He held her tightly and assured her, “Everything will be fine. You have exhausted yourself with too much household work. We have a maid, you don’t have to do everything by yourself. From now on, you will rest, and I’ll cook. The omelet will get burnt a little, but we’ll love it, right?” She didn’t reply at his futile attempt to make her smile. In fact, she didn’t even listen to him; she was unable to think about anything, about herself, her son, or her beloved husband anymore. She was numb.
The next two weeks were similar. There were talks in the neighborhood about her family troubles. Some aunties said the woman had gone crazy because her husband doesn’t let her work. Some said it was because the man beat her every night. Some even said she had an affair with the neighbor’s son.
The poor husband was highly irritated by all the gossips and angry at himself, thinking that he couldn’t even make his wife happy. What good was this marriage? Was he a bad husband? He had to do something. This was the time for some firm steps. He could no longer tolerate the babbling of the neighbors. Even more, he couldn’t fathom the condition of his wife. The most cheerful woman in the world now sat in the hall, staring outside the window and barely talking to her son whom she loved more than herself.
One day, he came home with a friend along with him. She exchanged some pleasantries with the guest, but forcefully. After that night, the one-time guest became a regular visitor for some unknown reason. Sometimes, he came when no one was at home and tried to talk and get to know her. The talk outside of Kavya’s home had turned into, “Look at this man, he is her new lover. Who knew adultery has become this common now?”
The husband ignored every harsh comment passed at him, thinking he can bear everything for his wife. He must. One day, his friend asked for a meeting. He went obediently, eager to know what exactly is wrong with his wife. His friend, a well-known psychiatrist, spoke with extreme calmness. “Your wife, I’m afraid, is suffering from depression.”
“What? No! How come? There’s been no sudden death in our family or no psychological trauma that hit her. Plus, even after a decade, we are happy with our marriage. I know, I shouldn’t tell you this, but we still have that heat in the bedroom like ten years ago. What could be the cause of this depression?”
The doctor calmly replied, “Nothing.”
It took a few months of medications and appointments with the psychiatrist. But Kavya soon found her old self. She now listens to Rafi while cooking and solves crossword puzzles in the afternoon. Her husband has created a YouTube channel for her, named “Cooking for Dummies” and she actively participates in an organization that deals with the taboo of depression and helps those women who are not blessed to have a forbearing husband like hers.
Love always, Kavya 